Sunday, February 24, 2013

I'm Back

The Drought is Over Well after a long break from the Fifth Trial saga of my life, I’m back. I must take a moment to explain the reason for my lack of communication. I finished my last round of treatments by mid January and began the process of evaluating my life. The doc says no cancer for now but a reasonable chance of reoccurrence. So imagine my situation; cancer free with a worry of what if, married, two new daughters, blending a family and headed back to work and full time ministry. I needed to catch my breath! I must be vulnerable now and admit to you that I really needed a break from saying, or even writing the word cancer. I was and still am unsettled about my future. I struggle with fear now for the first time in my life. For now I can forget for a day that I had Lymphoma but when I stand in front of my mirror in the morning I am reminded by the three little tattoos on my chest that assisted the technician with my radiation that I had a disease that almost took my life. Please don’t get me wrong, I consider myself healed. I am bubbling over with joy and thanksgiving for everything that God has done for me. In the midst of that joy there is a scare next to my heart and on my soul. I have a new enemy now, FEAR! I recently developed a cold and cough like the one that nagged me for months prior to my diagnosis and I have to say that with every cough comes a little worry. Will there be a sixth trial? My future is in God’s hands and for now I have decided to “get busy lining”. Every day is a decision to walk in the light and stay away from the darkness of fear and doubt. Seems like a no-brainer for a pastor right? Yea right! So now for today’s lesson- according to Matthew 6, I am encouraged and commanded not to worry; the act of worry about dying actually shortens my lifespan. I will trust in what has never let me down; God’s sovereign love for me. How can I pray for you? Blessings, GD

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for being brave.

    You helped me to be brave once and it changed my life. One decision to turn from fear and choose to live in hope can change everything. Thank you for making the choice.

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