Breaking Down

Well for the most part I’ve been on easy street with respect to my chemo side effects. It’s not that it’s not been bad, just not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Well, it’s all catching up to me now; my body is rapidly breaking down. On the eve of my 5^th round of chemo my big worry is that in the past, a few days before chemo, I usually feel pretty good and almost normal. Today I feel pretty bad! My hands are numb; a condition that is not allowing me to play my guitar and mandolin with ease. Oh well, I guess it will pass in a few months. All in all though; I’m glad to be alive and on the winning end of this battle.

Married life is great, the normal adjustments have been made and I really enjoy the schedule that we are on. We have time with all the kids, time alone and time with my older girls. I’m a very blessed man. I am surrounded by (6) kids who love me. I really miss not living with Lindsy and Gracie because of all our late night talks but I still see them frequently and I’m very proud of how they are progressing in life. I have the best part of parenthood; coaching adult kids and raising younger kids. Oh yea, I almost forgot, my wife is making me a better everything!

I have a great passion for the ministry God has called me to. My friend Paul gave me a book to read and it’s been challenging and pointing out the “holes in my ministry”. In short- I have been pursuing doctrine and neglecting the very heart of Jesus; taking care of the “least of these”. I love the fact that after all these years of serving God; I consistently stand corrected but not condemned. God is so gracious to me. I have been reminded that my joy is full when I’m about my Father’s business of helping people who need help and not judging their condition.  

On a personal note- please pray for an opening for me to serve as a hospital chaplain. I feel very strongly about this ministry and I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to comfort those who suffer with the comfort that I have been comforted with. Sounds like something in the bible right? IT IS!

Rabbi is falling asleep- got to go. Blessing to all of the faithful blog creepers!

Right on Track

Well the waiting is over! The test results are in and my little friend (my tumor) is 1/3 the size it was when I was diagnosed. I was really pleased with the results and my doctor was encouraged by my progress. I had a great day on Friday once I was given the news; I was finally able to breathe again. God did everything that I asked of Him and I am so grateful. The truth of the matter is that my body could be cancer free today. The image that was on the CAT Scan could be the remainder of the tumor; non malignant. I won’t really know if I am cancer free until the PET Scan at the end of my chemo regiment.

I knew at the start of the Fifth Trail that part of my journey was going to be my healing. I often thought about how I would communicate the faithfulness of God to you and not sound crazy. I am fully persuaded that God hears, God heals, and restores all things. I would love for God to heal me so that I can pass along the message to all who read this blog that God is for us! He is not against us because of His great love for us. I spent the morning trying to communicate this to my flock (John 3:16-21, Sunday sermon) the fact that God so loved the world…. He loves me! He loves you and wants to bring blessing into your life. He has great plans to prosper you in ways that you could never imagine. This is not hype; it’s truth!

Lesson- God’s love for me is not based on circumstances. It does not change like everything else in this world. It is the same every day weather I have cancer or not, weather I’m good or not, weather I have faith or not; His love endures forever! He has loved me consistently for every day of my Fifth Trial.

Physical update- Sores in my nose and mouth, sweating like a pig but happy to be on the road to recovery.

Thank you for your continual prayers and interest in my life- I’m eternally grateful.

Waiting

Waiting

In the words of Tom Petty “The waiting is the hardest part”. I had the CAT scan last Tuesday and I have been waiting for word on the size of the tumor in my chest. Waiting causes anxiety in me. I really had no problem with the fact that I had a growth in me. The issue is the finality of this test. It is a grade that will determine if the last two and a half months have been fruitful (worth it) really. I’ve always hated tests; they make us confront our brutal realities. Most of you that know me are shocked about this reality. The truth is I love confronting brutal realities; just not in me. I know that no matter what the results reveal; God is faithful and I will receive what I have been asking for.

The lesson is for me to learn to live in a state of contentment despite my circumstances. If God is really for me then what am I stressing over? Have I connected my wellbeing to results from a test? I wonder if this is what men of faith have struggled with in the past. I hope I am not alone! What I am learning is that contentment is a choice and it takes great faith to be content when the circumstances are daunting.

My heart goes out to all the people today that are waiting for good news and all the families that are standing (stressed out) waiting for Hope to arrive. Make no mistake here kids; Hope is on the way! We have called on God and He will deliver in His way and in His time.

Lord I pray for everyone who reads these words today to be infused with Hope and Faith. Everyone is waiting for something and hoping for the best in their life situation. Be their Hope Lord. Remind them today that You are God, Creator, Healer and Sustainer of all things. Be all of these things for them today.

Blessings

Wedding Pic

                                                        Greg and Tammy Davis 8/31/12

The Nine Day Engagement

Well if you haven’t already heard- I was engaged while on vacation (to Tammy) and married nine days later in my back yard in Fullerton in front of my family. We have been dating for about a year now and the timing was perfect. The stress level was low due to the short time to plan and it fit perfectly between chemo therapy #3 and #4 that occurred the following Tuesday. I know this sounds a bit crazy but I have decided to live and thrive during this time and not allow my joy, my future and my love to be taken from me. The truth is; I love Tammy very much and we are great together. So within nine days I moved back in my home in Fullerton that I left 18 months ago, added 2 children to my four children and attached my soul to another; all that’s missing is the reality show. Please trust me when I say this- this is the best thing I could have done; nothing else made sense.

So where do I go from here? I take every day as a new day with new mercies and new ways of doing things. I am not alone anymore! I hated Thursdays because I went home from church at night and I was alone; it’s not right for man to be alone. I have five long-term goals now; thrive with my wife Tammy, shepherd my small flock of children, be the best Pastor I can be, be the best employee I can be and oh yea- beat this cancer thing. I have so much to live for and that brings me joy and not fear. I will see light and victory at the end of this battle; you can take that to the bank! You may be saying to yourself, wow that sure sounds lofty. I can make this claim because I believe that God will give me the desires of my heart and these are my desires. You may call this a leap of faith, I call it skydiving! I vow to live like I was dying.

Lesson- The hope that God gives us does not disappoint.

Physical update- the 4^th round of chemo was the worst, I suspect that 5 and 6 will be even more overwhelming. I have a CAT scan next week that will determine how the chemo is working against the tumor so please pray. I’m praying for significant reduction in size.