Results are in!

Well my results are in. I received a call from my doc last Thursday with results from my recent scans. The CAT scan reveled that there is still a somewhat large tumor in my chest next to my heart. It measures about 3" long and about an 1" in diameter. He is not certain what the tumor consists of; he's calling it a lesion. He says its probably scar tissue- a residual of the LARGE TUMOR that he reminded my I had at least three times during our correspondence; what a guy! The good news is that the PET scan was negative meaning that there were no traces of cancer that was detected by the scan. The downside to all of this is that because of the tumor size the likelihood of cancer returning is high; story of my life right? So now we meet with my doc on 11/23/2012 to determine the next phase of treatment. He's considering a bone marrow transplant as well as radiation therapy. I have to admit that it's good to know that most, if mot all, the cancer is gone. I remain faithful in trusting God for my healing. I am also prepared for the long haul if that is what it takes. I want to thank everyone who has been faithful to pray for me; on behalf of me and my family, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blessings

Round Six is Over

Hello friends, hope all is well. I can see you now, glued to your TV waiting to see who will be our next president. Food for thought for the TV pees- let one network cover Election Day so that everyone else can continue normal programing; my kids will be climbing the walls soon. Ok, I present to you the latest. I have completed six rounds of chemo therapy (the planned amount) and I had a Cat Scan today as well as a PET Scan tomorrow to determine the size of the tumor and whether or not cancer cells still occupy my body; scary right? The next step will be to meet with my doc to develop a plan based on the results of the tests. It is very unlikely that this trial is over. The best case scenario is that the tumor is completely gone and all the cancer cells in my body have been eradicated. This is my hope and prayer. I am preparing for something a little different though. The more likely scenario is that the tumor is dramatically reduced in size and that scar tissue and a small amount of cancer still remains. If this is the case I will most likely undergo (6) weeks of radiation therapy (I am beginning to hate the word therapy) there is nothing therapeutic about this process. The problem with this plan is that I will most likely be driving to LA five days a week for the entire six weeks, yikes! I continue to remain hopeful for a complete healing by the hands of my creator. It is because of this fact that I have joy and peace; He has been so good to me. I am surrounded by the very best people who make it their aim to encourage me and lift me up. My wife will tell you that I am a bit apprehensive; those that know me know that this is probably the most accurate. There is a lot riding on this outcome, my family, my friends and my church all suffer with me; that’s what makes them great! I stop daily and consider how my wife and children will be affected if I should leave this world to be united with my Lord. I know this bothers most of the people that read a statement like that but I must say that you should stop and consider the same. My family is my most cherished gift and I want to be with them to enjoy this gift for a very long time. I wait with great anticipation to know my wife more intimately and just be in awe of her greatness. I long to see what will become of my children; what profession will they serve in, who will they marry, how many children they will have and what trails await them. These are the things that I live for. Lord please lengthen my days so that I can enjoy all the gifts you have bestowed upon me. Please let my best days be in front of me and not behind me. Blessings! P.S. I still am waiting for your prayer requests. You can email me privately rabbiontherun@sbcglobal.net

My Big Idea

My Big Idea A few months ago I was reminded by the Lord that I need to carry a little cash with me at all times so that I will be in a position to meet financial needs of the less fortunate that I frequently run into. I met with the men of my church this morning to break bread and have some fellowship. While sitting there I noticed our food bank and the fact that the shelves were full of food. I was then reminded that it was the same way last week. I was moved by the Lord that the food was not doing anyone any good by sitting there on the shelves. The Lord spoke to me and said "don't wait for the food to be taken, take it to the people who need it". He then promised that when the shelves were empty, He would fill them again and again. My Big Idea- BE READY! I will now have ready (in my car) $30.00 in $5 increments and a bag of food from the abundant shelves for the purpose of meeting needs that come across my path. I will simply give some food and $5 to those who are in need. Will you join me? Email or respond to this blog about your story and experience and how it blessed you to give. Blessings

The Big Picture

The Big Picture  Well I have lived with cancer now for the last (3) months and I have time to gain some perspective on my life and my disease. I have come to the conclusion that cancer is part of my life now; weather I am healed or not, this disease has left an impression on my life. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not being negative or melodramatic; I'm being realistic. I will, for the foreseeable future, be divided in my mind as to weather or not this cancer will resurface at a later date. I suspect that this fear dwells in many people have survived cancer. I will never forget the dark days when I was in the hospital, alone at night, thinking of scenarios that I never thought I would be considering. That process alone leaves a stain on one's psyche.   I desire to live my my life free of cancer, worry, fear and doubt. This will be a daily decision for me; I will have to purpose in my heart to overcome these obstacles. I am coming to the realization that this is exactly where God wants me. My faith is the active component in my physical and spiritual well being. I will not be robbed of the joy and peace that God desires me to walk in. I will not be a slave to the possibility of what may happen.  Lesson- abundant life is accessible to us all. It is a daily decision that we need to make. The door to this abundant life is a spirit filled walk with Jesus; He is the way the truth and the life! This abundant life cannot be found in anything else so stop looking and knock on the Door.  Blessings 

Breaking Down

Well for the most part I’ve been on easy street with respect to my chemo side effects. It’s not that it’s not been bad, just not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Well, it’s all catching up to me now; my body is rapidly breaking down. On the eve of my 5^th round of chemo my big worry is that in the past, a few days before chemo, I usually feel pretty good and almost normal. Today I feel pretty bad! My hands are numb; a condition that is not allowing me to play my guitar and mandolin with ease. Oh well, I guess it will pass in a few months. All in all though; I’m glad to be alive and on the winning end of this battle.

Married life is great, the normal adjustments have been made and I really enjoy the schedule that we are on. We have time with all the kids, time alone and time with my older girls. I’m a very blessed man. I am surrounded by (6) kids who love me. I really miss not living with Lindsy and Gracie because of all our late night talks but I still see them frequently and I’m very proud of how they are progressing in life. I have the best part of parenthood; coaching adult kids and raising younger kids. Oh yea, I almost forgot, my wife is making me a better everything!

I have a great passion for the ministry God has called me to. My friend Paul gave me a book to read and it’s been challenging and pointing out the “holes in my ministry”. In short- I have been pursuing doctrine and neglecting the very heart of Jesus; taking care of the “least of these”. I love the fact that after all these years of serving God; I consistently stand corrected but not condemned. God is so gracious to me. I have been reminded that my joy is full when I’m about my Father’s business of helping people who need help and not judging their condition.  

On a personal note- please pray for an opening for me to serve as a hospital chaplain. I feel very strongly about this ministry and I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to comfort those who suffer with the comfort that I have been comforted with. Sounds like something in the bible right? IT IS!

Rabbi is falling asleep- got to go. Blessing to all of the faithful blog creepers!

Right on Track

Well the waiting is over! The test results are in and my little friend (my tumor) is 1/3 the size it was when I was diagnosed. I was really pleased with the results and my doctor was encouraged by my progress. I had a great day on Friday once I was given the news; I was finally able to breathe again. God did everything that I asked of Him and I am so grateful. The truth of the matter is that my body could be cancer free today. The image that was on the CAT Scan could be the remainder of the tumor; non malignant. I won’t really know if I am cancer free until the PET Scan at the end of my chemo regiment.

I knew at the start of the Fifth Trail that part of my journey was going to be my healing. I often thought about how I would communicate the faithfulness of God to you and not sound crazy. I am fully persuaded that God hears, God heals, and restores all things. I would love for God to heal me so that I can pass along the message to all who read this blog that God is for us! He is not against us because of His great love for us. I spent the morning trying to communicate this to my flock (John 3:16-21, Sunday sermon) the fact that God so loved the world…. He loves me! He loves you and wants to bring blessing into your life. He has great plans to prosper you in ways that you could never imagine. This is not hype; it’s truth!

Lesson- God’s love for me is not based on circumstances. It does not change like everything else in this world. It is the same every day weather I have cancer or not, weather I’m good or not, weather I have faith or not; His love endures forever! He has loved me consistently for every day of my Fifth Trial.

Physical update- Sores in my nose and mouth, sweating like a pig but happy to be on the road to recovery.

Thank you for your continual prayers and interest in my life- I’m eternally grateful.

Waiting

Waiting

In the words of Tom Petty “The waiting is the hardest part”. I had the CAT scan last Tuesday and I have been waiting for word on the size of the tumor in my chest. Waiting causes anxiety in me. I really had no problem with the fact that I had a growth in me. The issue is the finality of this test. It is a grade that will determine if the last two and a half months have been fruitful (worth it) really. I’ve always hated tests; they make us confront our brutal realities. Most of you that know me are shocked about this reality. The truth is I love confronting brutal realities; just not in me. I know that no matter what the results reveal; God is faithful and I will receive what I have been asking for.

The lesson is for me to learn to live in a state of contentment despite my circumstances. If God is really for me then what am I stressing over? Have I connected my wellbeing to results from a test? I wonder if this is what men of faith have struggled with in the past. I hope I am not alone! What I am learning is that contentment is a choice and it takes great faith to be content when the circumstances are daunting.

My heart goes out to all the people today that are waiting for good news and all the families that are standing (stressed out) waiting for Hope to arrive. Make no mistake here kids; Hope is on the way! We have called on God and He will deliver in His way and in His time.

Lord I pray for everyone who reads these words today to be infused with Hope and Faith. Everyone is waiting for something and hoping for the best in their life situation. Be their Hope Lord. Remind them today that You are God, Creator, Healer and Sustainer of all things. Be all of these things for them today.

Blessings