Eating Plants

Hey! 

I got sucked into one of those documentaries about the health benifits of a plant based died. I'm considering this approach but I am a bit hesitant. For someone like me, late forties 20lbs overweight blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, this may be the right move. I'm thinking it may be benificial if I document my progress so that others may benifit. 

Health update- tumor is still shrinking, overall prognosis is positive. I have a PET scan in December to determine if there is new cancer growth. Still have considerable nerve damage due to the chemotherapy and radiation therapy. So much for the word therapy! 

Blessings

The Gift of Wisdom

I have been wondering lately about how I survived the last 18 months. I guess I give my doctors a tremendous amount of credit but I have to wonder where I would be without Gods wisdom. I have been studying Provers for the last week and I am reminded of how significant gods wisdom is in my life. I remain torn on the issue due to the fact that I have unlimited access to Gods wisdom and yet I still find myself acting as if I had none.

Left alone, I have no wisdom whatsoever! I am not alone because wisdom has become my companion. I still am learning how to be a better companion in return but I am defiantly engaged in the process. Gods wisdom has guided me, tempered me, led me and molded me more in the last 2 years than at any time in my life. I've learned to live with the threat of suffering and mental anguish and ever flourish as I listen and heed the wisdom of God. He promises in His Word that He will give to all who ask without measure.

So let me bottom line this deep spiritual truth for you- God has warehouses full of wisdom in heaven just waiting to be given away to any person who takes the time to ask for it. You can't receive it if you want to mix it with your own so called wisdom. It's readily available to you now and and God wants to give it out. She (wisdom) is your only hope. She will call to you in every life situation you encounter so HEED HER CALL!

The problem with remission

Well it's been forever and a day since my last post. I'm happy to report that I'm still in remission. I'm very grateful to God and my family for taking care of me. Life for now is back to normal; well as normal as a family of 9 can be.

So what's with the title of my post you may ask? Remission is like being in a holding pattern. As much as I want to be "cancer free", whatever that means, I am not. I still have lymphoma. I hate even typing that word. The problem with remission is not knowing if this is just halftime or is the trial truly over.

I still have all the symptoms of cancer but they tell me that there is "no new growth". I pray for the day when words like remission are never used. Remission is a consistent reminder of what was.

I am optimistic about my future however. My doc says that I most likely won't die from this disease but I will probably battle it again.

Until then I must learn to be content with the word remission and understand that just like everyone else; I'm a heartbeat away from meeting my maker.

Holliday blessings to you all. Please respond with requests for prayer; I owe all you guys at least that!

So What am I so Afraid of?

So What am I so Afraid of? Well tomorrow is just going to be one of those days. I have a cat scan to check on the status of my tumor/growth/scar tissue- whatever! I hate tests that I have no control over. I can’t study or prepare; whatever will be, will be. I watched a movie with my wife and my oldest daughter last night that challenged me to deal with my fear that I have let run rampant lately. I am well acquainted with anxiety of late; it’s becoming a very familiar friend. So what am I so afraid of? The list- I don’t want to stay in the hospital anymore- it’s lonely and very confusing. There just seems to be a bunch of people walking around that know more about your case than you do. I don’t want to leave my wife and family behind. I just started over again and I’m really enjoying my life. There is so much more to teach my four younger children and so much more to learn from my two older ones. I’m not afraid to die- I know I will be with my Lord. I’m not afraid of cancer- I did this before, I can do it again. I am afraid of what this illness causes- potential separation from the people that I love, my family, my church, my co-workers and my friends. Last summer I took a picture of my hand overlapped with Max’s hand and I prayed- Lord allow me to stay in this world until Max’s hand is the size of my hand. We hold hands every day I am with him and mine is still bigger! Lord- whatever tomorrow brings- my hand is in your hand!

Side Effects

Hello faithful readers! I trust all is well with you and that you are preparing for the Passover/ Easter season. Well, I’m still on this journey and learning something every day. This week I have come to the realization that this journey is more than a season. I have been battling this “season” for (4) seasons now and I suspect there will be many more. I so wanted to tuck this little memory in a box, nice and tidy, and forget that it ever happened. I so wanted to believe that this was going to be a bump in the road. The truth is that I just now understand that my mind wants to move on but my body is unwilling. I am physically feeling the scars from this battle; the war has come and gone but the wounds have not healed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the chemo and the radiation knowing full well that they saved my life. The problem is that I feel like my body will never be the same. The funny thing is that there were days when I was in the between chemo treatments that I felt better than I do now. They don’t tell you all this stuff when you’re signing your life away. Chemo is like sin; long after you are exposed to it you still deal with its terrible side effects. On a more positive note- I will walk in my second Relay for Life on 4/20/13. I remember walking last year and crying for the first two laps asking myself how I got here and was I going to be here next year to walk again. I will walk again and I will cry! God is so good! Send me your prayer request please.

Cancer all around!

Greetings peeps, hope all is well! I know, you see the title and say to yourself, typical Greg! Well, I see what i see and I see cancer everywhere. The list of people that I know that are suffering from this disease is growing by the day. I realize now that I in the past I chose not to see but lately I have no choice; it's all around me. I see the same doctors and nurses taking care of the same people- the cancer class of 2012/ 2013. I may not know them by name but I cannot forget their faces. I know a dear woman who is fighting the fight of her life, a true hero, a Vietnam Veteran. She has suffered with this disease, battle after battle and now she is on the ropes. Please pray for her, her name is Cathy. A dear woman in my church is loosing her brother to cancer. I see how this disease impacts families and friends who are torn apart by seeing their loved ones dying with no hope. Please pray for him his name is Rick. My own brother in law is still battling alone and in private, his name is Ron. My dear friends grandson is still battling leukemia and will be for many months to come. Please pray for him, his name is Ethan. So much suffering, so much to pray for. To all the soldiers of this disease KEEP WAGING WAR!

On a positive note, I begin training for a volunteer chaplain position at Kaiser Anaheim. The woman who teaches the class is the woman who ministered to me in my darkest hour- she walked in my room, looked me in the eye, and told me of her story. She survived a cancer worse than mine. She vowed to God she would use this trial to serve Him. SO WILL I

Blessing

Send me your prayer requests please.

I'm Back

The Drought is Over Well after a long break from the Fifth Trial saga of my life, I’m back. I must take a moment to explain the reason for my lack of communication. I finished my last round of treatments by mid January and began the process of evaluating my life. The doc says no cancer for now but a reasonable chance of reoccurrence. So imagine my situation; cancer free with a worry of what if, married, two new daughters, blending a family and headed back to work and full time ministry. I needed to catch my breath! I must be vulnerable now and admit to you that I really needed a break from saying, or even writing the word cancer. I was and still am unsettled about my future. I struggle with fear now for the first time in my life. For now I can forget for a day that I had Lymphoma but when I stand in front of my mirror in the morning I am reminded by the three little tattoos on my chest that assisted the technician with my radiation that I had a disease that almost took my life. Please don’t get me wrong, I consider myself healed. I am bubbling over with joy and thanksgiving for everything that God has done for me. In the midst of that joy there is a scare next to my heart and on my soul. I have a new enemy now, FEAR! I recently developed a cold and cough like the one that nagged me for months prior to my diagnosis and I have to say that with every cough comes a little worry. Will there be a sixth trial? My future is in God’s hands and for now I have decided to “get busy lining”. Every day is a decision to walk in the light and stay away from the darkness of fear and doubt. Seems like a no-brainer for a pastor right? Yea right! So now for today’s lesson- according to Matthew 6, I am encouraged and commanded not to worry; the act of worry about dying actually shortens my lifespan. I will trust in what has never let me down; God’s sovereign love for me. How can I pray for you? Blessings, GD

Results are in!

Well my results are in. I received a call from my doc last Thursday with results from my recent scans. The CAT scan reveled that there is still a somewhat large tumor in my chest next to my heart. It measures about 3" long and about an 1" in diameter. He is not certain what the tumor consists of; he's calling it a lesion. He says its probably scar tissue- a residual of the LARGE TUMOR that he reminded my I had at least three times during our correspondence; what a guy! The good news is that the PET scan was negative meaning that there were no traces of cancer that was detected by the scan. The downside to all of this is that because of the tumor size the likelihood of cancer returning is high; story of my life right? So now we meet with my doc on 11/23/2012 to determine the next phase of treatment. He's considering a bone marrow transplant as well as radiation therapy. I have to admit that it's good to know that most, if mot all, the cancer is gone. I remain faithful in trusting God for my healing. I am also prepared for the long haul if that is what it takes. I want to thank everyone who has been faithful to pray for me; on behalf of me and my family, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blessings

Round Six is Over

Hello friends, hope all is well. I can see you now, glued to your TV waiting to see who will be our next president. Food for thought for the TV pees- let one network cover Election Day so that everyone else can continue normal programing; my kids will be climbing the walls soon. Ok, I present to you the latest. I have completed six rounds of chemo therapy (the planned amount) and I had a Cat Scan today as well as a PET Scan tomorrow to determine the size of the tumor and whether or not cancer cells still occupy my body; scary right? The next step will be to meet with my doc to develop a plan based on the results of the tests. It is very unlikely that this trial is over. The best case scenario is that the tumor is completely gone and all the cancer cells in my body have been eradicated. This is my hope and prayer. I am preparing for something a little different though. The more likely scenario is that the tumor is dramatically reduced in size and that scar tissue and a small amount of cancer still remains. If this is the case I will most likely undergo (6) weeks of radiation therapy (I am beginning to hate the word therapy) there is nothing therapeutic about this process. The problem with this plan is that I will most likely be driving to LA five days a week for the entire six weeks, yikes! I continue to remain hopeful for a complete healing by the hands of my creator. It is because of this fact that I have joy and peace; He has been so good to me. I am surrounded by the very best people who make it their aim to encourage me and lift me up. My wife will tell you that I am a bit apprehensive; those that know me know that this is probably the most accurate. There is a lot riding on this outcome, my family, my friends and my church all suffer with me; that’s what makes them great! I stop daily and consider how my wife and children will be affected if I should leave this world to be united with my Lord. I know this bothers most of the people that read a statement like that but I must say that you should stop and consider the same. My family is my most cherished gift and I want to be with them to enjoy this gift for a very long time. I wait with great anticipation to know my wife more intimately and just be in awe of her greatness. I long to see what will become of my children; what profession will they serve in, who will they marry, how many children they will have and what trails await them. These are the things that I live for. Lord please lengthen my days so that I can enjoy all the gifts you have bestowed upon me. Please let my best days be in front of me and not behind me. Blessings! P.S. I still am waiting for your prayer requests. You can email me privately rabbiontherun@sbcglobal.net

My Big Idea

My Big Idea A few months ago I was reminded by the Lord that I need to carry a little cash with me at all times so that I will be in a position to meet financial needs of the less fortunate that I frequently run into. I met with the men of my church this morning to break bread and have some fellowship. While sitting there I noticed our food bank and the fact that the shelves were full of food. I was then reminded that it was the same way last week. I was moved by the Lord that the food was not doing anyone any good by sitting there on the shelves. The Lord spoke to me and said "don't wait for the food to be taken, take it to the people who need it". He then promised that when the shelves were empty, He would fill them again and again. My Big Idea- BE READY! I will now have ready (in my car) $30.00 in $5 increments and a bag of food from the abundant shelves for the purpose of meeting needs that come across my path. I will simply give some food and $5 to those who are in need. Will you join me? Email or respond to this blog about your story and experience and how it blessed you to give. Blessings

The Big Picture

The Big Picture  Well I have lived with cancer now for the last (3) months and I have time to gain some perspective on my life and my disease. I have come to the conclusion that cancer is part of my life now; weather I am healed or not, this disease has left an impression on my life. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not being negative or melodramatic; I'm being realistic. I will, for the foreseeable future, be divided in my mind as to weather or not this cancer will resurface at a later date. I suspect that this fear dwells in many people have survived cancer. I will never forget the dark days when I was in the hospital, alone at night, thinking of scenarios that I never thought I would be considering. That process alone leaves a stain on one's psyche.   I desire to live my my life free of cancer, worry, fear and doubt. This will be a daily decision for me; I will have to purpose in my heart to overcome these obstacles. I am coming to the realization that this is exactly where God wants me. My faith is the active component in my physical and spiritual well being. I will not be robbed of the joy and peace that God desires me to walk in. I will not be a slave to the possibility of what may happen.  Lesson- abundant life is accessible to us all. It is a daily decision that we need to make. The door to this abundant life is a spirit filled walk with Jesus; He is the way the truth and the life! This abundant life cannot be found in anything else so stop looking and knock on the Door.  Blessings 

Breaking Down

Well for the most part I’ve been on easy street with respect to my chemo side effects. It’s not that it’s not been bad, just not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Well, it’s all catching up to me now; my body is rapidly breaking down. On the eve of my 5^th round of chemo my big worry is that in the past, a few days before chemo, I usually feel pretty good and almost normal. Today I feel pretty bad! My hands are numb; a condition that is not allowing me to play my guitar and mandolin with ease. Oh well, I guess it will pass in a few months. All in all though; I’m glad to be alive and on the winning end of this battle.

Married life is great, the normal adjustments have been made and I really enjoy the schedule that we are on. We have time with all the kids, time alone and time with my older girls. I’m a very blessed man. I am surrounded by (6) kids who love me. I really miss not living with Lindsy and Gracie because of all our late night talks but I still see them frequently and I’m very proud of how they are progressing in life. I have the best part of parenthood; coaching adult kids and raising younger kids. Oh yea, I almost forgot, my wife is making me a better everything!

I have a great passion for the ministry God has called me to. My friend Paul gave me a book to read and it’s been challenging and pointing out the “holes in my ministry”. In short- I have been pursuing doctrine and neglecting the very heart of Jesus; taking care of the “least of these”. I love the fact that after all these years of serving God; I consistently stand corrected but not condemned. God is so gracious to me. I have been reminded that my joy is full when I’m about my Father’s business of helping people who need help and not judging their condition.  

On a personal note- please pray for an opening for me to serve as a hospital chaplain. I feel very strongly about this ministry and I cannot stop thinking about it. I want to comfort those who suffer with the comfort that I have been comforted with. Sounds like something in the bible right? IT IS!

Rabbi is falling asleep- got to go. Blessing to all of the faithful blog creepers!

Right on Track

Well the waiting is over! The test results are in and my little friend (my tumor) is 1/3 the size it was when I was diagnosed. I was really pleased with the results and my doctor was encouraged by my progress. I had a great day on Friday once I was given the news; I was finally able to breathe again. God did everything that I asked of Him and I am so grateful. The truth of the matter is that my body could be cancer free today. The image that was on the CAT Scan could be the remainder of the tumor; non malignant. I won’t really know if I am cancer free until the PET Scan at the end of my chemo regiment.

I knew at the start of the Fifth Trail that part of my journey was going to be my healing. I often thought about how I would communicate the faithfulness of God to you and not sound crazy. I am fully persuaded that God hears, God heals, and restores all things. I would love for God to heal me so that I can pass along the message to all who read this blog that God is for us! He is not against us because of His great love for us. I spent the morning trying to communicate this to my flock (John 3:16-21, Sunday sermon) the fact that God so loved the world…. He loves me! He loves you and wants to bring blessing into your life. He has great plans to prosper you in ways that you could never imagine. This is not hype; it’s truth!

Lesson- God’s love for me is not based on circumstances. It does not change like everything else in this world. It is the same every day weather I have cancer or not, weather I’m good or not, weather I have faith or not; His love endures forever! He has loved me consistently for every day of my Fifth Trial.

Physical update- Sores in my nose and mouth, sweating like a pig but happy to be on the road to recovery.

Thank you for your continual prayers and interest in my life- I’m eternally grateful.

Waiting

Waiting

In the words of Tom Petty “The waiting is the hardest part”. I had the CAT scan last Tuesday and I have been waiting for word on the size of the tumor in my chest. Waiting causes anxiety in me. I really had no problem with the fact that I had a growth in me. The issue is the finality of this test. It is a grade that will determine if the last two and a half months have been fruitful (worth it) really. I’ve always hated tests; they make us confront our brutal realities. Most of you that know me are shocked about this reality. The truth is I love confronting brutal realities; just not in me. I know that no matter what the results reveal; God is faithful and I will receive what I have been asking for.

The lesson is for me to learn to live in a state of contentment despite my circumstances. If God is really for me then what am I stressing over? Have I connected my wellbeing to results from a test? I wonder if this is what men of faith have struggled with in the past. I hope I am not alone! What I am learning is that contentment is a choice and it takes great faith to be content when the circumstances are daunting.

My heart goes out to all the people today that are waiting for good news and all the families that are standing (stressed out) waiting for Hope to arrive. Make no mistake here kids; Hope is on the way! We have called on God and He will deliver in His way and in His time.

Lord I pray for everyone who reads these words today to be infused with Hope and Faith. Everyone is waiting for something and hoping for the best in their life situation. Be their Hope Lord. Remind them today that You are God, Creator, Healer and Sustainer of all things. Be all of these things for them today.

Blessings

Wedding Pic

                                                        Greg and Tammy Davis 8/31/12

The Nine Day Engagement

Well if you haven’t already heard- I was engaged while on vacation (to Tammy) and married nine days later in my back yard in Fullerton in front of my family. We have been dating for about a year now and the timing was perfect. The stress level was low due to the short time to plan and it fit perfectly between chemo therapy #3 and #4 that occurred the following Tuesday. I know this sounds a bit crazy but I have decided to live and thrive during this time and not allow my joy, my future and my love to be taken from me. The truth is; I love Tammy very much and we are great together. So within nine days I moved back in my home in Fullerton that I left 18 months ago, added 2 children to my four children and attached my soul to another; all that’s missing is the reality show. Please trust me when I say this- this is the best thing I could have done; nothing else made sense.

So where do I go from here? I take every day as a new day with new mercies and new ways of doing things. I am not alone anymore! I hated Thursdays because I went home from church at night and I was alone; it’s not right for man to be alone. I have five long-term goals now; thrive with my wife Tammy, shepherd my small flock of children, be the best Pastor I can be, be the best employee I can be and oh yea- beat this cancer thing. I have so much to live for and that brings me joy and not fear. I will see light and victory at the end of this battle; you can take that to the bank! You may be saying to yourself, wow that sure sounds lofty. I can make this claim because I believe that God will give me the desires of my heart and these are my desires. You may call this a leap of faith, I call it skydiving! I vow to live like I was dying.

Lesson- The hope that God gives us does not disappoint.

Physical update- the 4^th round of chemo was the worst, I suspect that 5 and 6 will be even more overwhelming. I have a CAT scan next week that will determine how the chemo is working against the tumor so please pray. I’m praying for significant reduction in size.    

A Time to Think

Well I’m back from my timeout; it was well worth it! This particular timeout was purposeful with respect to the decisions that I am in the midst of making. One thing that became abundantly clear to me was the way I have been living my life, or not living my life. I was confronted with the question of exactly how I acquired this insidious disease. It became clear to me that stress, diet, worry, doubt, fear and an overall concern about my life performance, were the primary factors that led to my illness. My life was way too complicated and busy to experience the abundance that God desired for me. I was headed for disaster and if it wasn’t cancer than it would have been something else. My body was saying what my spirit tried to say; STOP and rest.

Prayer reveled a truth that my first pastor communicated to me a long time ago; “God’s opinion of me makes mans opinion irrelevant”. This statement probably means nothing to you, but for me they are words that speak to my tired and hungry sprit. I was simply trying to rest in what man thought of me and not resting in what God thought of me. Those of you who know me well saw this coming; I’m sure this is not a surprise revelation to you. Faith is knowing that God is pleased and everyone else is pissed off! The weight of leadership can be heavy at times but it is unbearable when you make it your aim to please everyone but God. In the words of John Mayer- “Stop This Train, I want to get off and go home again; I can’t take speed it’s moving in”. I know you’re disappointed that I did not wax biblical, but that line was on my heart.

So where do I go from here? I make it my mission to please God and deal with the disappointment from others. I need His encouragement more than I need chemo therapy. This process will be a day by day struggle for me because I so want to keep people happy. I need your prayers. I would rather die pleasing God than live trying to make everyone happy! I have set a course that I believe pleases God and I am compelled to follow it at all costs.

Blessings

Max's Hand

Lord grant me all the time I need so that Max's hand grows as big as my hand.

Time Out

Blessing all, I trust everyone is holding up ok. Well, round #3 of chemo is complete and all the steroids have been consumed and I'm on vacation. I woke up this morning and had my devotion (my time with God) on the balcony overlooking the beautiful ocean waters of Catalina. This island has become annual resting place. I said annual, not final! I am taking this oportunity today to pray for all of you have faithfully followed me on this journey; my fith trial.

Lord, I pray for all those who are need of healing. We can trust you for healing because it's who you are and part of your character. Healing is one of your names and your son was called "The Great Physician". Trust God for your healing today! Follow me and I will show you the way!

Lord I pray for those who are stressed. Lord, you are the Prince of Peace; be their peace today. Calm the storm in their life and remind them to fix their eyes on you; the author and finisher of their faith.

Lord I pray for those who are overwhelmed with worry. Worry is not something you designed; it is extremely dangerous for your kids to engage in it. You are faithful, you will fix whatever is broken, you will provide for what's needed and you will bring about the change that we hope for.

Lord I pray for those who are are having relationship problems; marriage, dating, friendships and family issues. If we desire you to move in healing our relationship we must heal our relationship with you. We will never have the heart to heal relationships until your heart becomes our heart. Be wrong, be second and just make peace.

If you need prayer email me, I have the time and I have been faithful to pray for whatever needs you may have.

Lesson- these are more than just words on a screen; they are for you. They have power because He has power. They matter because you matter to Him. He will grant us these things because He has promised to do so. Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.

Great Morning!

Well for those of you who pray, you know that one of the best times to pray is in the morning; preferably before the sun rises. I have my devotion time (time with God alone) almost every morning. Most of the time, I read and then pray about everything that concerns me. This morning was different. My mind was filled with questions, questions that most of us are afraid to ask. I approach God in a very practical way; it’s what makes my relationship with Him unique; not better than yours, just different. I have leaned to forego all the emotion and just approach Him like I would my father. I could talk to my dad about anything; I miss him greatly. Ok, so back to my morning. As I sat on my bed thinking about all my issues I realized that I had more questions than requests. It’s not that I did not have need; I just had a hard time verbalizing it. So I started journaling all of my questions and pouring out all my fears, my what if’s, my how my gonna’s and all the things I think about but don’t talk about. Something profound happened. I experienced a great peace about all my worries and stressors. You see, God wants me in a state of need; need for His presence in my life. So here’s the kicker- my circumstance have not changed but my perspective was completely transformed as I was reminded again that God wants me to be dependent on Him.

Lesson- for those of you who have a hard time connecting with God start asking Him about all the issues of your life. Forgo answers for the moment and focus on connection and relationship with Him. Seek Him first and all the undone issues of your life will be resolved.  

Chemo on Tuesday so please pray!