Eating Plants

Hey! 

I got sucked into one of those documentaries about the health benifits of a plant based died. I'm considering this approach but I am a bit hesitant. For someone like me, late forties 20lbs overweight blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds, this may be the right move. I'm thinking it may be benificial if I document my progress so that others may benifit. 

Health update- tumor is still shrinking, overall prognosis is positive. I have a PET scan in December to determine if there is new cancer growth. Still have considerable nerve damage due to the chemotherapy and radiation therapy. So much for the word therapy! 

Blessings

The Gift of Wisdom

I have been wondering lately about how I survived the last 18 months. I guess I give my doctors a tremendous amount of credit but I have to wonder where I would be without Gods wisdom. I have been studying Provers for the last week and I am reminded of how significant gods wisdom is in my life. I remain torn on the issue due to the fact that I have unlimited access to Gods wisdom and yet I still find myself acting as if I had none.

Left alone, I have no wisdom whatsoever! I am not alone because wisdom has become my companion. I still am learning how to be a better companion in return but I am defiantly engaged in the process. Gods wisdom has guided me, tempered me, led me and molded me more in the last 2 years than at any time in my life. I've learned to live with the threat of suffering and mental anguish and ever flourish as I listen and heed the wisdom of God. He promises in His Word that He will give to all who ask without measure.

So let me bottom line this deep spiritual truth for you- God has warehouses full of wisdom in heaven just waiting to be given away to any person who takes the time to ask for it. You can't receive it if you want to mix it with your own so called wisdom. It's readily available to you now and and God wants to give it out. She (wisdom) is your only hope. She will call to you in every life situation you encounter so HEED HER CALL!

The problem with remission

Well it's been forever and a day since my last post. I'm happy to report that I'm still in remission. I'm very grateful to God and my family for taking care of me. Life for now is back to normal; well as normal as a family of 9 can be.

So what's with the title of my post you may ask? Remission is like being in a holding pattern. As much as I want to be "cancer free", whatever that means, I am not. I still have lymphoma. I hate even typing that word. The problem with remission is not knowing if this is just halftime or is the trial truly over.

I still have all the symptoms of cancer but they tell me that there is "no new growth". I pray for the day when words like remission are never used. Remission is a consistent reminder of what was.

I am optimistic about my future however. My doc says that I most likely won't die from this disease but I will probably battle it again.

Until then I must learn to be content with the word remission and understand that just like everyone else; I'm a heartbeat away from meeting my maker.

Holliday blessings to you all. Please respond with requests for prayer; I owe all you guys at least that!

So What am I so Afraid of?

So What am I so Afraid of? Well tomorrow is just going to be one of those days. I have a cat scan to check on the status of my tumor/growth/scar tissue- whatever! I hate tests that I have no control over. I can’t study or prepare; whatever will be, will be. I watched a movie with my wife and my oldest daughter last night that challenged me to deal with my fear that I have let run rampant lately. I am well acquainted with anxiety of late; it’s becoming a very familiar friend. So what am I so afraid of? The list- I don’t want to stay in the hospital anymore- it’s lonely and very confusing. There just seems to be a bunch of people walking around that know more about your case than you do. I don’t want to leave my wife and family behind. I just started over again and I’m really enjoying my life. There is so much more to teach my four younger children and so much more to learn from my two older ones. I’m not afraid to die- I know I will be with my Lord. I’m not afraid of cancer- I did this before, I can do it again. I am afraid of what this illness causes- potential separation from the people that I love, my family, my church, my co-workers and my friends. Last summer I took a picture of my hand overlapped with Max’s hand and I prayed- Lord allow me to stay in this world until Max’s hand is the size of my hand. We hold hands every day I am with him and mine is still bigger! Lord- whatever tomorrow brings- my hand is in your hand!

Side Effects

Hello faithful readers! I trust all is well with you and that you are preparing for the Passover/ Easter season. Well, I’m still on this journey and learning something every day. This week I have come to the realization that this journey is more than a season. I have been battling this “season” for (4) seasons now and I suspect there will be many more. I so wanted to tuck this little memory in a box, nice and tidy, and forget that it ever happened. I so wanted to believe that this was going to be a bump in the road. The truth is that I just now understand that my mind wants to move on but my body is unwilling. I am physically feeling the scars from this battle; the war has come and gone but the wounds have not healed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the chemo and the radiation knowing full well that they saved my life. The problem is that I feel like my body will never be the same. The funny thing is that there were days when I was in the between chemo treatments that I felt better than I do now. They don’t tell you all this stuff when you’re signing your life away. Chemo is like sin; long after you are exposed to it you still deal with its terrible side effects. On a more positive note- I will walk in my second Relay for Life on 4/20/13. I remember walking last year and crying for the first two laps asking myself how I got here and was I going to be here next year to walk again. I will walk again and I will cry! God is so good! Send me your prayer request please.

Cancer all around!

Greetings peeps, hope all is well! I know, you see the title and say to yourself, typical Greg! Well, I see what i see and I see cancer everywhere. The list of people that I know that are suffering from this disease is growing by the day. I realize now that I in the past I chose not to see but lately I have no choice; it's all around me. I see the same doctors and nurses taking care of the same people- the cancer class of 2012/ 2013. I may not know them by name but I cannot forget their faces. I know a dear woman who is fighting the fight of her life, a true hero, a Vietnam Veteran. She has suffered with this disease, battle after battle and now she is on the ropes. Please pray for her, her name is Cathy. A dear woman in my church is loosing her brother to cancer. I see how this disease impacts families and friends who are torn apart by seeing their loved ones dying with no hope. Please pray for him his name is Rick. My own brother in law is still battling alone and in private, his name is Ron. My dear friends grandson is still battling leukemia and will be for many months to come. Please pray for him, his name is Ethan. So much suffering, so much to pray for. To all the soldiers of this disease KEEP WAGING WAR!

On a positive note, I begin training for a volunteer chaplain position at Kaiser Anaheim. The woman who teaches the class is the woman who ministered to me in my darkest hour- she walked in my room, looked me in the eye, and told me of her story. She survived a cancer worse than mine. She vowed to God she would use this trial to serve Him. SO WILL I

Blessing

Send me your prayer requests please.

I'm Back

The Drought is Over Well after a long break from the Fifth Trial saga of my life, I’m back. I must take a moment to explain the reason for my lack of communication. I finished my last round of treatments by mid January and began the process of evaluating my life. The doc says no cancer for now but a reasonable chance of reoccurrence. So imagine my situation; cancer free with a worry of what if, married, two new daughters, blending a family and headed back to work and full time ministry. I needed to catch my breath! I must be vulnerable now and admit to you that I really needed a break from saying, or even writing the word cancer. I was and still am unsettled about my future. I struggle with fear now for the first time in my life. For now I can forget for a day that I had Lymphoma but when I stand in front of my mirror in the morning I am reminded by the three little tattoos on my chest that assisted the technician with my radiation that I had a disease that almost took my life. Please don’t get me wrong, I consider myself healed. I am bubbling over with joy and thanksgiving for everything that God has done for me. In the midst of that joy there is a scare next to my heart and on my soul. I have a new enemy now, FEAR! I recently developed a cold and cough like the one that nagged me for months prior to my diagnosis and I have to say that with every cough comes a little worry. Will there be a sixth trial? My future is in God’s hands and for now I have decided to “get busy lining”. Every day is a decision to walk in the light and stay away from the darkness of fear and doubt. Seems like a no-brainer for a pastor right? Yea right! So now for today’s lesson- according to Matthew 6, I am encouraged and commanded not to worry; the act of worry about dying actually shortens my lifespan. I will trust in what has never let me down; God’s sovereign love for me. How can I pray for you? Blessings, GD